For most of my life I have carried around a nagging intellectual uncertainty that resists the absoluteness of the religious doctrines I inherited. How can so many others in the world be so wrong while I carry around the baggage of theological correctness? Something simply did not add up. Once I began to acknowledge this exhaustion and uncertainty, doubts and questions that had been buried deep inside from years of repression surfaced with eruptive force . . .
“Who put God into power?”
“Why is there so much pain and suffering?”
“Can God hear me?”
“Does he, she, or it even care?”
“What kind of God plays sadistic tricks on humans, sending to hell those who didn’t get the whole salvation thing quite right?”
Better yet, “What kind of loving God ordains some humans to fill hell?”
“If scripture is so inerrant, why do we jump through such elaborate hoops to explain away all the inconsistencies?”
“Why was I tormented as a kid, believing one moment that I was going to heaven, only to find myself in the next moment convinced that I was headed to hell?”
“Oh, and what about all those unanswered prayers? Who is to blame? Did I not have enough faith, or is God simply indifferent?”
“If we truly believe God is infinite, how is it that we have come to pretend to know so much about God?”
While the experience of regurgitating these questions was frightening at times, it gradually grew into one of freedom: freedom to ask fearful, ugly, and difficult questions. Now, instead of dreading the retribution of an angry God for such disrespectful interrogations on my part, I live with an enduring image of a Teacher who smiles at those who dare to ask forbidden questions. I eventually found answers to some of the questions. Others simply melted away in insignificance. Some remain suspended in time.
This is a journey where all questions are valid questions, and where the process of seeking answers is the destination. Let’s wander into Slices of God.
– Sam Augsburger
Great new blog!! I’m looking forward to reading it!