My wife and I were visiting with my father in the nursing home a couple of weeks ago. While we were there his pastor stopped by to check in on him. It should be no surprise that eventually we got into a side conversation on theology, touching on the growing number of divisive and untouchable issues affecting the church at large. At one point he said, “Relationship trumps theology. It always has. Jesus demonstrated it again and again.” [1]
I have been mulling over these words ever since. Can it be? Are we to sacrifice our theological positions for relationships? Surely not! Yet, I chose to wander through the concept precisely because of the discontinuities it threw in my face. What theological cards in my hand will ultimately bow to the relationship trump card?
I have witnessed plenty of relationships sacrificed on the altar of theological correctness. Most of us have. It’s collateral damage from the call to “rightly divide the word of truth.” Right? Perhaps not.
Over the days since that conversation I have pondered the life of Jesus in light of this relationship principle. I have come to believe it is correct: Jesus did let go of theological correctness for the sake of nurturing relationships.
Jesus allowed himself to be touched by unclean people, whether lepers, prostitutes, drunkards, tax collectors, and other sinnners. It was forbidden by Levitical law to be touched by unclean people. But Jesus proactively touched these people. Why? To heal and develop relationships.
Jesus sat next to Jacob’s well, visiting with a half-breed: a Samaritan woman. When his disciples saw him with her, they were more than a little concerned, for Jews were not to associate with Samaritans, let alone a strange woman. Later, when the disciples offered Jesus food, he refused, saying, “I have food to eat that you know nothing about.” His food was to do God’s will: to build relationships. Jesus was fed by developing a relationship with a Samaritan woman.
Jesus ate and drank with sinners. He openly enveloped those the religious community rejected. Why? Because relationships trump theology.
At the end of Jesus’ life, while hanging on the cross, he crossed the theological boundary one more time for the sake of a relationship. One of the two thieves hanging next to him cursed him. The other recognized that Jesus had done nothing to deserve death. He said to Jesus, “Remember me when you come into your kingdom.” Jesus, seizing the opportunity to establish one last relationship, said, “Today you will be with me in paradise.” The sleazy, no-good-for-nothing murderer did not ask Jesus into his heart. He was not baptized. He did not take communion. He did not know the necessary doctrines. But it didn’t matter: Jesus made a friend.
So what relationships have I lost due to my theological correctness? I have lost relationships with countless Jehovah’s Witnesses in arguments over the Trinity, numerous Mormons over Paul’s words to reject any other gospel, and a few Muslims I could not convince to step into my box. I once shunned the gay and lesbian community. I condemned atheists. I turned and walked away when I saw you-know-who coming my way. I held my head high, confident of my theological idols. Of course I did these things in all humility. But . . . I gave up relationships. I gave up Jesus’ mission.
Oh to have those opportunities back. Being correct is lonely.
-Sam Augsburger
[1] See http://trekonministries.com/relationship-trumps-theology-every-time-oord-trekon-supporttomoord/ by Dr. Don Minter.
